i still think of him

i had a bad dream one night. the dream was about the arki board exams and we were in the design part already. i was in my table and read the design problem. i panicked and was only able to draw a single horizontal line. i cried. i woke up and guess who i thought of first.... Kaloy.

he always comforted me and boosts my confidence. he knows my weaknesses and knows how to encourage me when i feel really down. why him? is he really the one for me? i sometimes think that he isn't, sometimes he is. as i looked back on our relationship, i now know that i'm the one who made the mistake. he had his faults and i made it worse because i couldn't accept him as he is. i was a perfectionist and i had my ideals in a relationship. is it wrong to have standards or ideals? what if it is not met, would it be wrong to end the relationship because the standards are not met?

i need somebody to talk to but sometimes my friends could not help me find the answers. or maybe i just don't like their answers.

i am a head over heart person. i would rather do things base on what i think rather on what i feel.