in the middle

some thoughts i've kept in my phone for over a year now.

i wrote it when i was really feeling down and heartbroken.

it was exactly how i felt that time.

i look back, i'm not far from where i've been
i go on my way, down the middle line
this is not right but it seems much better
i'm nowhere but in the middle of somewhere
i will find another way

i know from the beginning when i chose the middle, i'm at the losing end
i chose between faith and love
i tried to do what's right, not see what was left
i'm in the middle, not choosing, losing
ended with nothing

uncertainty

i am having trouble with my thesis. the lot i've chosen has posed a lot of constraints because of its smallness. my classmates have chosen lots ranging from 1 hectare and above, while i chose a 4000 sq. m. lot. now that's a big difference. they have the advantage in terms of design because they have the space to do so.

jeez, i have to wait for my thesis adviser to give me sound and solid advice on what i should do. that would be approximately 10 hours from now. what i decide to do with my thesis depends on what my adviser will say. my whole sem, my graduation depends on what he will say later.

uncertainty... i don't know what his intentions are... i don't really understand why he texts me always... i don't know what he really wants to say, if the messages he sends has more meanings than what was written. or am i just assuming too much? these are just some of the things a girl goes through. waiting for something to happen, waiting till he says the magic words or could be worse, waiting in vain.

where are you going?

december blues

more than a year since i wrote my last blog.

super busy with my thesis. its my last year, last semester (hopefully) in college. i won't give up this time. no matter how difficult, no matter how tired or no matter how disappointed i'll be. THIS IS REALLY IT! i will graduate on March 2007. i'm not tired of schooling, but i'm tired of not having finished my course - architecture. Whew! almost 10 years of architecture.hehehehe

this december is different. i'm lonely but i am so busy. the year had been quite different. i finally got out of shell and enjoyed my UM Arki life. i found and befriended some people who shared the same ideas as i did. i broke up my almost-2-years bf and this was what happened. it was a theraphy for me, i dwelled on the activities and stopped feeling for awhile. i busied my mind so as not to feel the emptiness in my heart. and i did great! i got over the break up real quick and well. i'm so proud of myself.:)