unsent letter

hi! hows ur work?

wats dis about? its about us. i asked u a question before about the heart and head. ur answer really helped a lot in clearing the confusion. i was confused because i was already feeling something for you. my heart tells me the exact opposite from what my head thinks i should do. my head was also listening to my friends and my own common sense. unfortunately, following my head this time would not make me happy. when i told you that i wanted to end the chatting sessions, i really felt bad and sad afterwards.

we've met 2 years ago and never had time to meet up properly. honestly, u did have a GOOD chance with me if u had just tried to ask and have not judged me. do u stil remember asking me out for a date, i think december 2006? i was so pissed off with u because u never texted back again nor offered details about it. i assumed then that u were either drunk or just a plain old jerk. i even texted u in the afternoon if u were in davao already, u replied but simply didnt mention anything about the supposed date. that was STRIKE ONE.

STRIKE TWO was asking if u can court me when in fact u had a gf. and i have to personally find out about it online. what the heck were u thinking?!! we had a debate, i cooled off my anger. u were not worth my time. i continued chatting with you because i had a lot of questions and u were competent enough to answer them. i easily forgive people when they DON'T matter much to me. i usually hold grudges for a week or a month to my real friends. hehehe do u know that "arguments are the truest index of emotional involvement?" just something i got from a book.

so, about u... i stil hold on my impressions that u are a jerk, bastos and arrogant. but i never told u that i find u to be an interesting person. u have impressed me a lot with your stories, what u've been through and where you're going etc. i just hope that u weren't lying or making up stories just for my entertainment. u do sound arrogant and bastos even in just d way u chat. but i still see what was said, not just how it was said. i can also psychoanalyze people.:)

i do like you, JP. duh!! wasn't it a bit obvious to you already? i like you BUT I'M NOT YET IN LOVE WITH YOU. you stil got to work on that part, big time. and i don't know how its going to happen, with the distance and the different time zones. im scared to get hurt and to be vulnerable to someone like you. i just took the plunge this time with hopes that u are serious, real and true. do u stil feel the same way for me or has it changed after all the shutdowns i've said to you?

bases loaded, would it be a HOMERUN or a STRIKE THREE (& ur out for good)? its really upto you...