Tuesday, November 27, 2007

way back into love

he called. its been a while since we've talked and it was nice to hear from him again. i texted him about my job offer from Oman and he called up. he sounded okay, his job was okay. he's not coming home until next year, maybe in October. we talked about the board exam and we'd be reviewing together. i told him that we've already got a place to stay. i am excited about the review. the "charmed ones" will be together again under one roof.hehehe that's what i call the three of us. we had a special bond through our last year in college. i miss him. i really miss him. that phone call made up for the whole time we haven't chatted. i do feel i am special to him. but i also feel that we are just good friends, nothing more. i wouldn't want to lose that special friendship we have. even it would mean holding back all my feelings for him. i've done this before, holding back. it's easy, all i have to do is just let all my doubts rise up and eat up whatever "love" i have for him. it also helps to divert your attention to another guy.
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why does it always happen to me? everytime when i start liking a guy, another guy would mess up my feelings and make me confuse. like before, the best friend case. i just told best friend that i liked this certain guy and he messed me up by confessing his feelings for me. this time, my buddy called me just when i was starting to let go of my feelings for him because i met a guy i used to like. anyways, the new guy was a classmate during my 1st semester of transfer. he's another story actually. i met him again at duty free where he works. he assisted me and my mom in the grocery section. i found him cute and realized he looked really familiar. he introduced himself as paul and i didn't bother to tell him my name. stupid! i should have. i really need training with flirting 101. we had time to chat on our own, mom was in another aisle. he kept on trying to sell products to me. but i wasn't really in the mood to listen or socialize. i got shy and was bored. i'm not sure if he recognized me from the start that i was his classmate in soc. sci. 3. i became sure that he was my classmate when i got to read his ID, P____ P___ V_____. i know that my classmate had a name of V______. so when i got to the van, i was already very sure that it was him and got really disappointed of not making a move for him. stupid, stupid. if i only had, maybe i could have given him my number.hehehe

so why do i remember him so well? because he was my seatmate for a few weeks in class. but he got transferred due to seating plan changes. he was this quiet guy who always wears that white shirt. i got attracted to him, he was the reason why i liked that class.hehehe why would i forget him? he was the first guy to make a stupid move on me. he was sitting beside me and casually asked if i had a boyfriend. i wasn't that trusting towards new guys so i told him that i do have a boyfriend in manila. i'm not sure if we had another conversation after that. i do remember that he copied from me. i guess he would remember me also. oh please, let him not have a girlfriend yet!!! he really looked cute and seemed to be nice person. i hope i could see him again when i go back to duty free. i just can't get him out of my head since i saw him again.

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