Sunday, December 17, 2006

in the middle

some thoughts i've kept in my phone for over a year now.
i wrote it when i was really feeling down and heartbroken.
it was exactly how i felt that time.

i look back, i'm not far from where i've been
i go on my way, down the middle line
this is not right but it seems much better
i'm nowhere but in the middle of somewhere
i will find another way

i know from the beginning when i chose the middle, i'm at the losing end
i chose between faith and love
i tried to do what's right, not see what was left
i'm in the middle, not choosing, losing
ended with nothing



Friday, December 15, 2006

uncertainty

i am having trouble with my thesis. the lot i've chosen has posed a lot of constraints because of its smallness. my classmates have chosen lots ranging from 1 hectare and above, while i chose a 4000 sq. m. lot. now that's a big difference. they have the advantage in terms of design because they have the space to do so.

jeez, i have to wait for my thesis adviser to give me sound and solid advice on what i should do. that would be approximately 10 hours from now. what i decide to do with my thesis depends on what my adviser will say. my whole sem, my graduation depends on what he will say later.

uncertainty... i don't know what his intentions are... i don't really understand why he texts me always... i don't know what he really wants to say, if the messages he sends has more meanings than what was written. or am i just assuming too much? these are just some of the things a girl goes through. waiting for something to happen, waiting till he says the magic words or could be worse, waiting in vain.

where are you going?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

december blues

more than a year since i wrote my last blog.

super busy with my thesis. its my last year, last semester (hopefully) in college. i won't give up this time. no matter how difficult, no matter how tired or no matter how disappointed i'll be. THIS IS REALLY IT! i will graduate on March 2007. i'm not tired of schooling, but i'm tired of not having finished my course - architecture. Whew! almost 10 years of architecture.hehehehe

this december is different. i'm lonely but i am so busy. the year had been quite different. i finally got out of shell and enjoyed my UM Arki life. i found and befriended some people who shared the same ideas as i did. i broke up my almost-2-years bf and this was what happened. it was a theraphy for me, i dwelled on the activities and stopped feeling for awhile. i busied my mind so as not to feel the emptiness in my heart. and i did great! i got over the break up real quick and well. i'm so proud of myself.:)