living through somebody else's life

i read most of my UP college friends blogs. i catch up with their lives through what they write. we've been writing since our TFA days, in that thick black or blue logbook. expressing our feelings, angsts and unrequited love poems. nothing has changed much with the way each one writes. i can still see their own style of writing hasn't changed. what has changed are the topics, points of view and experiences. basically, they are still the same friends i have been with in college. it just seems so exciting now to get together with them because of the long distance and long time we've been apart from each other.

they have been living the life that i wished to have before.... graduating from UP Diliman, reviewing for board exams, passing the board exams, getting a job, travelling around, working in Dubai or somewhere else, teaching in UP or any school for an archi subject, writing for an architectural magazine, getting paid to photograph buildings etc... they were able to achieve those dreams... im still not sure if i have achieved even half of that yet.

part of me is still angry, regretting the fact that i never graduated from UP Diliman...
if i could only turn back time.... i would really do things differently....

anyways, its done.. i'm happy of where i am now. i am happy that somehow i still got through it all and still graduated with a degree in BS architecture. i will get my license soon. i really hope to get my head into that board exam and review well and maybe, just maybe... get into the top ten. hehehe dreaming!

life could have been better if it had happened differently... but..... i dont know......

if this is growing up....

if growing up means waking up early in the morning to get ready for work, then i am.
if growing up means sitting down in front of the computer 8 hours a day, then i am.
if growing up means talking to other people of all ages and be treated as their equal, then i am.
if growing up means ending the day tired and sleepy from too much work, then i am.

if growing up means doing your own laundry during your one free day, then i am.
if growing up means cooking your own meals and do the dishes afterwards, then i am.
if growing up means shopping for your own monthly grocery and other neccessities, then i am.
if growing up means budgeting your own salary over a month's expenses, then i am

if growing up means sharing a flat with friends, then i am.
if growing up means living on your own, without your family, then i am.
if growing up means making decisions on your own, then i am.
if growing up means facing each day on your own, then i am.

it is wisdom gained

the wisdom behind living here..........

1) love transcends everything. nothing can stop love. no one can stop love. religion, nationality, and everything else you thought were important would no longer matter when it comes to love.

2) people only follow the rules they want to. every rule can be adjusted or disregarded just to suit themselves. and it doesn't matter who wrote or decided the rules. you can always bend it and continue living happily and believe you are not doing anything wrong.

3) you are always better than you think and stronger than you believe....

4) OFW always feel tired... i guess its because some part of us will always be at home. we are never whole here. and the part that comes with us, always has to be on guard and do the work for the one left behind.

chopsuey: food, friends and relationships

cooking: my newly discovered skill

i don't cook back home. if i do cook it would be either grilling or frying and everything would be chopped, mixed and marinated by my mother or sister already. but there is one thing that i could cook well and mastered... beef steak. thats it.  other than that, i dont know.  living on my own made me discover or rather forced me to discover something that i thought i never could do. so much as do it really well.  i never thought i could cook!!! and my flatmates are raving over my simple fried chicken, grilled chicken, chicken steak, burger steak and gravy, camaron rebosado and most recently CHOPSUEY! yes! i have successfully cooked chopsuey with the help of the ever reliable internet.hahaha 

OFW: organization of friends worldwide

i am having a blast here in oman! having a good circle of friends surely makes up for some of the loneliness and homesickness i feel here.  they've become my family here. everything was made easier for me because of them. my filipino friends here are great, they're fun to be  with and i know they'll be there when i would be needing them. the omani friends are also fun to be with though sometimes they are "kamote".hehehe the guys are much nicer than the girls though. there's still a whole of other people out there i will meet. it would be really great to have this international circle of friends.

RELATIONSHIPS

yep, something's cooking....

 

O MAN!

i'm here in muscat, oman. as of the moment, im all alone in the flat.  its okay with me as long as a computer/ laptop with internet connection is available.

flat life: trix and michelle are my two flatmates. we each have our own room. i got the smallest room but i dont mind because i dont have much stuff anyway.  we've got our own kitchen and we take turns in cooking and washing the dishes.  food consists of chicken: from hotdogs to soups to nuggets etc... chicken breasts, wings, boneless etc.. we try to variate it with different sauces and recipes. so far, we've been lucky.  pork is hard to find here. i got to eat it once though.  i just finished doing my laundry yesterday.  we have a washing machine with dryer.  really great! it would have been such a hassle if we didnt have one or have to get somebody to do it for us.

work life: its good. the work is hectic but not stressful.  we get a lot of projects coming and out of the office. i get to do most of the 3d modeling.  i also get to do some designing and lay-outing.  i already got to do my first client meeting the other night.  it wasnt that hard.  i guess i was pretty confident with my english and knowledge.  i think i asked the right questions regarding their project.  tomorrow, i might be able to do my first outdoor project.  so far, everyone's been nice and warm and welcoming.  the smell of the "Pana" guys is something else. i really need to eat before i go to the office, otherwise, i might vomit from the bad smell, headache and hunger.  they smell so bad... i cant describe the smell exactly but its bad.  the big boss, sheik seif, is very nice and sincere.  GM isnt bad either. its the salesguys who irritate me. one guy thinks he's my boss and would just call me from my cubicle and tell me to do some drawings or 3d. Duh! im holding out on my anger still.  i try to be nice and just humbly accept whatever he asks me to do. but if it becomes too much, im telling GM.  he's not my boss!!!! 

im sleepy... the other stuff just have to be on the next blog. 

unsent letter

hi! hows ur work?

wats dis about? its about us. i asked u a question before about the heart and head. ur answer really helped a lot in clearing the confusion. i was confused because i was already feeling something for you. my heart tells me the exact opposite from what my head thinks i should do. my head was also listening to my friends and my own common sense. unfortunately, following my head this time would not make me happy. when i told you that i wanted to end the chatting sessions, i really felt bad and sad afterwards.

we've met 2 years ago and never had time to meet up properly. honestly, u did have a GOOD chance with me if u had just tried to ask and have not judged me. do u stil remember asking me out for a date, i think december 2006? i was so pissed off with u because u never texted back again nor offered details about it. i assumed then that u were either drunk or just a plain old jerk. i even texted u in the afternoon if u were in davao already, u replied but simply didnt mention anything about the supposed date. that was STRIKE ONE.

STRIKE TWO was asking if u can court me when in fact u had a gf. and i have to personally find out about it online. what the heck were u thinking?!! we had a debate, i cooled off my anger. u were not worth my time. i continued chatting with you because i had a lot of questions and u were competent enough to answer them. i easily forgive people when they DON'T matter much to me. i usually hold grudges for a week or a month to my real friends. hehehe do u know that "arguments are the truest index of emotional involvement?" just something i got from a book.

so, about u... i stil hold on my impressions that u are a jerk, bastos and arrogant. but i never told u that i find u to be an interesting person. u have impressed me a lot with your stories, what u've been through and where you're going etc. i just hope that u weren't lying or making up stories just for my entertainment. u do sound arrogant and bastos even in just d way u chat. but i still see what was said, not just how it was said. i can also psychoanalyze people.:)

i do like you, JP. duh!! wasn't it a bit obvious to you already? i like you BUT I'M NOT YET IN LOVE WITH YOU. you stil got to work on that part, big time. and i don't know how its going to happen, with the distance and the different time zones. im scared to get hurt and to be vulnerable to someone like you. i just took the plunge this time with hopes that u are serious, real and true. do u stil feel the same way for me or has it changed after all the shutdowns i've said to you?

bases loaded, would it be a HOMERUN or a STRIKE THREE (& ur out for good)? its really upto you...

leaving on a jet plane

february 5.... the big day. i already got an emailed version of my documents. i've already gone to POEA and processed the requirements for PDOS which i'll be attending on thursday. hopefully ill receive my original documents on monday or tuesday, then i can process my exit clearance.

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i chatted with my close friend last night and guess what, he has a gf already. they became official just that day also. i guess i was the first to know bout them. i wasn't exactly bummed out with his news. during the past few days or weeks, i've been chatting with another guy, JP. somehow, i've transfered my feelings to this guy already. i don't know if he's really a nice guy. my friends don't like him nor approve of him. they think he's a jerk. i do think he is a jerk. he had successfully made me cry at one point. it was the second time he acted like a real jerk towards me. strike two and waiting for the third strike. i dont know if that will come. we've been communicating better. chatmates. he's currently in cayman islands now.

stage 1: attraction
stage 2: enjoying his company or jus being able to talk with him
stage 3: liking him
stage 4: missing him
stage 5: falling for him
stage 6: love him

i guess these are the stages that i undergo before i fall in love for a guy. right now i can say i'm in stage 2 with JP, going to stage3 if he does play it right. and stops being a jerk. if he does, strike three and he's out.